"Cogito,Ergo Sum"...

Reconciling some learnings

2010-03-21T11:35:00.005+05:30

Ok... now is the time for me to recollect some lessons which i have picked up over last one year or so. And the very fact that i have learnt this lessons in real life and not in a classroom, makes it very important to me. Because the lessons learnt out of the classroom come at a very very significant cost and sometimes even some irreversible damage. Enough said. Here goes the sacred list which i would try never forget.

1. People skill is the only important skill. Everything else is just to fill up your resume, which really doesn't matter.

2. You deserve what you get. The old and often propagated funda of "you get what you deserve" is just a well-thought out mechanism of actually 'smart' guys to keep you in the illusion and hence out of the door. Also, this statement works in all the situations. C'mon, it is a FACT after all.

3. Promises are made to be broken and you know this. However, for them to be made and subsequently broken, they are also to be believed in. The world does need some suckers to believe them. Choose your side.

4. It is a myth that everything falls into place in the long term. Actually, you just get used to things and convenience overtakes the resilience.

5. Blood, sweat, tears and strong will...Fate overrules them all...

Obviously this is not the final list and i will (have to) keep on adding more as and when i come across these lessons... See, all this is out there, we do not find it...we just get to know of it.

cheers,

vaibhaV

Relevance?

2008-12-01T17:34:00.002+05:30

This is what i came across while surfing channels today afternoon. And somehow it struck me...i found it interesting in somewhat weird way...

"Do you like her?"
"I do, actually. I really do. But that is irrelevant."

And just for those who have a doubt, this is not put out of context. This is all the conetxt there was.

Dedicated to... a song...and something much more than that...

2008-09-28T17:19:00.004+05:30

i had to write a post dedicated to this special song which i've been in love with for quite some time now. In fact, i "owe" a post to this song and this delay has been mainly due to the fear of not being able to do justice to it. But then, i guess i'll not be able to do it anyway...so here it goes...

The song i am talking about is "Maine Dil se Kaha" from the movie - Rog. It is penned down by Neelesh Misra and Sayeed Quadri and the music is by M.M. Kareem. Yes, the same musician who has given Awarapan(Jism).The song is sung extremely beutifully by K.K. In fact, i doubt if any other voice could have fitted this song so well. Now, apart from all these facts, what exactly is so special you would ask. To make it crisp, i guess the most special element of this song is the touch of "honesty" and "purity" that it has. Am no pundit of music and do not understand the intricasies of it. But what i do understand is, this song touches the soul. You hear it over n over again, n still, that sacred element of purity is present everytime.

It makes you laugh, makes you cry... But takes you closer to something pure. Something very subtle... It is very pleasant yet very disturbing at the same time. Listening to it, you feel like you better drop all your shields and just flow with it. And it is this element of honesty,purity which makes the song suitable for almost every ocassion. i burnt it when i thought the life cannot get worse and i also sat n listened to it in silence when one of my most cherished dreams came true... And both the times, it somehow managed to fit the ocassion perfectly. Now, the lyrics can be considered to be sad by some and the music as dull; but then the whole combo of that music,voice and lyrics is not sad...it is not dull...it is not euphoric either... it is just... just like talking to oneself...beyond the world we are facing and trying to grapple with, but not leaving it at the same time...

i know i havent been able to do justice to what this song stands for, but then we knew it right from the start...did'nt we?

Just following some trend...

2008-08-31T03:03:00.000+05:30

Here is how a word cloud generated for this blog looks like...

Interesting, eh?

Continuing with the "Spuriously Genuine" thought...

2008-08-27T23:02:00.000+05:30

After my post entitled "Spuriously Genuine", i got some comments which said, what is the big deal? Let me tell you what the big deal is. The thing is that i am confused to no end when i think about genuineness of what i feel. If an extreme experience such as that described in that post was not genuine, what would be? If all the arguments and assumptions made in that post hold, it means that whenever we know that we are thinking/feeling something,it does not remain valid as genuine anymore. And then unless we know it, it is of no use to us. It is very much like the role of information content in an efficient market. As soon as it is known, it loses its value and everything is reflected in the prices. The issue is, we can carry on with semi-strong efficiency in markets. But can we do so with our life?

Also, i had a long discussion about the topic with one of my friends (yes, i do have a few of them) today. As a sidenote, it was a very pleasing and enriching experience after quite a long time and i thank him for that. Thanks dost! Coming back to the issue at hand, one point which came up during the discussion was that of consciousness about the thought/feeling and its effect on the requirement of validation. What we stumbled upon was a concept where i think every thought/feeling starts very consciously and then we need validation for that. It need not be true in trivial matters wherein the thought is that of waking up early the next morning or having a cup of tea instead of a regular cup of coffee. Here i am referring to the feelings which the society does not perceive to be "genuine by default" and looks at with a shadow of doubt. One such very easily observable feeling is that of love. Again, by society i do not mean entire human being on the planet but the relevant part of it for the given context and it includes oneself.

Now, as a social creature with a decent exposure to the expectations of society; we know that the probability of this feeling being appreciated and accepted as a genuine one increases if it is subconscious one which suddenly, naturally, and accidentally came to surface. This tends to make us camouflage this conscious feeling very conveniently with a mask of subconscious element. Again, as i had mentioned in that post, this is not really intentional; but automatic out of our desire of validating it and the convenience it offers.

The next question which came was where and when does this "manipulation" start? Say i am claiming the current thoughts of mine as manipulated, my friend went upto time t = 0.01 seconds after the birth of a child. At that time, the thoughts, reflexes and feelings of the child will be natural as s/he has not had exposure to the environment yet. Again, these reactions will be different for different babies, but each one being genuine in its own. Now, as time goes on, that child is being exposed to many things simultaneously: the facts as s/he observes, the environment s/he lives in, his/her interpretations of the facts being observed and corresponding reactions decided, and the feedback to those actions by the society. This forms a simple learning process which unfortunately also goes on increasing proportion of "manipulation" in the thinking and feeling. And as the time reaches t = 20 years or so, the proportion of genuineness reduces due to the multiplicative rule. And my claim is that by this time it starts tending towards zero. It might vary with person but for a large enough sample, the distribution can be expected to be a highly peaked one with a very low mean. i realize that what i have tried to put across is a very crude way of interpreting the whole thing, but this is the best i could think of right now. Would really welcome you all with different views/interpretations.

The bottom line is, if i cannot trust my thoughts/feelings to be genuine once they become known; and they are of no use until i know them; what is it that i can really trust as genuine? What is it that i can hang onto?

Ever thought of restarting all over again?

2008-08-27T17:12:00.000+05:30

There are times when i think i am just acting on what is written in the drama called life. i used to object this thought strongly and liked to believe that i was the master of my destiny. But now i feel i don't really mind acting; provided someone changes this God-damned script please.

Sometimes i wonder what is it that am lacking the most in this life? If given a chance to ask for anything, what would it be? Did i want to be Einstein, Gandhi or Mother Teresa to start with? Well, i am too materialistic for that i guess. But nonetheless, i could come up with the list of things which i consider divine enough to strive for and even go through all the fuss called "daily life" all over again. Here goes the list in no particular order... I want to be reborn on this earth...

To play Sachin's innings in Sharjah(1998) and World Cup (against Pakistan, 2003)
To play a piece of Guitar similar to that in "Coming back to Life" (Pink Floyd) or anything by Metallica or if nothing else, some pieces of "Life in a Metro" music.
To write a piece of literature as commendable as "Animal Farm" (George Orwell) or "Atlas Shrugged" (Ayn Rand)
To sing all those songs sung by KK with the same quality and expressions
To think as beautifully as Spinoza or Descartes
To exhibit the courage of Akash in DCH, determination of Karan in Lakshya, and hope of Andy in Shawshank Redemption
To be able to think without knowing it and thus be seriously genuine in my thoughts and hence actions (Ref. the previous to the last post titled "Spuriously Genuine")

If nothing of above is to be true and am to be on this earth again, i would like to be a completely stupid, narrow-minded, insensitive and little educated fellow. Because, in my opinion, these are the kind of people who enjoy the most in the life... and are the happiest of the lot. Strange, but true!

At the speed of light? Really?

2008-08-26T19:00:00.000+05:30

We are very used to saying "at the speed of light"... we say it, read it and hear it every now and then. But, what i fail to understand is, why not at the speed of darkness? If what we want to hint by saying "at the speed of light" is "very fast"; wouldn't darkness be a better analogy? Coz we can observe that darkness spreads much faster than the light and also, it is a state by default. Any source of light would need some time to fill up an enclosed room with light. However, no time lag would be required to fill up that room with darkness and it would come naturally as well...

And for someone more inclined towards the real meanings, the speed with which darkness and light fill up our life should be satisfactorily sufficient to declare the winner i guess...

What say?

Spuriously Genuine?

2008-08-25T15:33:00.000+05:30

Just yesterday i had this long, zero-value-add debate with one of my friends... The moot point of the debate was something i have been grappling to understand for quite some time now. The issue under question is the genuineness of what we think we really think or even more abstractly, what we "feel". And by no means i am questioning the intentions here. But i guess sometimes we become manipulative to even ourself and that too out of our knowledge. The reason might be knowing too much about the way a particular thought and/or a feeling is interpreted. I mean, it is very much like a dynamic psychometric test which people scrap through for jobs and all. Because as a candidate i know how my answer to a particular question would be interpreted, i change my answer for it to fall in line with what is expected. If i do that intentionally, i am just committing a fraud, no doubt, but what if that is not intentional? i believe our education/training or whatever you may call it, makes us immune to this realization and it becomes automatic to fraud.

Let me give an example. Just before two months or so, i was on my way back from HK to India with a stop at Singapore. the first leg of journey was nice and smooth, but on the flight from Singapore, when everyone was having dinner, the plane started wobbling a bit too much for comfort. The pilot announced that the weather was turning very bad and we might be compelled for an emergency landing and should get ready for it. The trays were pushed back and the crew started giving instructions about what to do in case of emergency landing. Now, even if you know all this before boarding a flight, this is something when you feel a pit in your stomach. I just tried to go through basic flight information being displayed on my screen and realized it was of no relevance. Five more minutes and the wobbling was ever increasing or that is what i felt. And then i closed my eyes and tried to relax...one more arbit swing of the plane and kind of everything my life has been till now flashed in front of my eyes... some faces, some places. Obviously, it was a split second kind of thing and i find it worth a laugh now, considering that the plane did not require emergency landing and everything returned to normal soon.

But, this got me thinking once i was at home and had enough time. Why only those faces and those places? A popular story offers some "insightful" explanation - claiming those persons and places being something i really care about and do not want to get away from. Interesting! Now tell me one thing... as i knew this even before this incident happened, isnt it possible that my brain(ok, i give in...it was me,myself) tricked me into seeing those faces and places because i wanted to make my associations with them more authenticated and natural?

i have elaborated one incident here which i feel was strong enough for me to raise this question. But we see the kind of things i've been talking about everyday. Remember that kid you met some days back who "likes" nothing but science and astronomy (because his parents told him that it was cool) and that guy next door who just realized that he was in love because he had suddenly lost all his sleep and just one thought occupied his mind! Duh, gimme a break! Again, i am not doubting anyone's intentions here. But don't you think that kid or that guy are just victims of the results driving the causes?

i have something more to say on the issue and feel i've not done justice to the topic. So would continue in the next post... (ha ha, as if you really care! )

Unworthy...

2008-08-23T23:49:00.000+05:30

Back after a long time... And that too with a poem i read on insti NB... posted by one of our super-seniors... I liked it and so here it goes... Again, complete credit to the original writer and i am just reposting the poem here...

Unworthy

Unworthy is he, who loves and is not loved
He knows, but feigns he has not erred

A smile on the lips, a prayer in the heart
The unlikely signs of a painful dart

Struck deep in the soul, profusely bleeding
And yet he labours, the agony unheeding

Every waking hour, spent selflessly caring
Every sleepless night he's desperately preparing

For the day when the world will at last fall apart
A gentleman, more worthy, will lay claim to her heart

She'll find joy, he hopes, in those fortunate arms
And forever be glad in his unwitting charms

She will find true happiness and all will be well
The hole in his heart will make life hell

The pain of knowing, what's his, couldve been mine
Will kill him daily, ten days out of nine

Knowing all that was ever needed, was to say it out loud
To speak to her heart, to shut out the crowd

And persist in the meaning, the living of love
To prove how he'd be there to tide out the rough

To prove how no other, could ever come close
To being her man, there'd be plenty of those

Those who would try to read her heart
Those who would try to play the part.

But there's only one, who has lived in her heart
Who talks to her heartbeat, who nurses the dart

She thinks she'll be happy, one man is like any other
Deep inside she knows, a heart has but one tether

More often than not, at the choice she will falter
And knowing full well, two lives she will alter

And both with a smile, join the hordes of pretenders
And endure the good life with their hearts in fetters

To this sad tale, im afraid theres no end
The victim, mind you, is always a friend

The love among friends is something to be seen
But some friendships, my friend, should never have been

You'll never walk alone...

2007-05-08T22:37:00.000+05:30

When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of the Storm there's a golden sky
And the sweet, silver song of a lark.
Walk on through the wind, walk on through the rain,
Though your dreams be tossed and blown.
Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone.
You'll never walk alone.

And then there comes a DAWN...

2007-04-27T18:08:00.000+05:30

The final results for IIMs are declared and at last my dream day has come true...In all probabilities i am heading to IIMA or IIMC. Wherever i decide to land up in the end, a new dawn has arrived and am ready to embrace it with both hands... I always wondered how i would feel if this dream of mine came true someday and when it did today, nothing of what i had thought happened... I did not feel like jumping with joy or dancing. All i could feel was a state of extreme peace with myself... Probably, it is the closest i've felt with myself and i don't think i have enough skills with words to describe what i felt.

After initial euphoria set down and the phone stopped ringing, i searched for words which could describe what exactly i was feeling...n the thoughts stumbled upon the following which i think perfectly summarizes all that is going through mah mind(somehow i am finding it difficult to call it my brain...strange, stupid but true... ) right now...

When you are born you're afraid of the darkness,
And then you're afraid of the light,
But I'm not afraid when I dance with my shadow,
This time I'm gonna get it right...

- Taste of India, Aerosmith.

P1:"I Think...." P2:"Do 'You' Really???"

2007-04-21T16:28:00.000+05:30

Hello All!

All of us at some point of time feel the mortality or futility of our existence. Though these two words are quite different when taken literally, if we analyze the cause of them, they seem to converge at the same point. There are many times when occurrence of some thing we might not have expected or non-occurrence of an expected thing (which in turn falls in the first case as an occurrence) makes us feel some voidness, some hollowness in our existence. And in one of the similar situations, this horrifying thought struck my mind..."Do i really exist?" "Or am i deceived to believe that i exist"? And even more strangely, when i say that "i believe", is it 'me' who believes or again am i deceived to think that i believe?? It might sound a bit vague or awkward to understand until one faces the situation himself, but if we put some thought to this entire thing objectively, without any bias, i think (do 'i' really?) we might appreciate it enough to probe it further.

When faced with somewhat similar situation, Rene Descartes came up with "Cogito,Ergo Sum" which literally means "I think, therefore I am ". He said that he could exist as long as he thought. And he also claims that this is the only thing which is certain in this holy world. But again, what do we mean by 'I' here? Are we really what we think we are? Or even further, do we really think when we think we think? The entire issue becomes somewhat simple if we take the dreams into the consideration. In dreams, everything we "see", everything we "feel" is quite close to reality and when it is not so, we should not question the dream only, but also the way we define reality. And also, it is the fact that when we dream, we take it to be reality...the way we define it normally. Then what is it that differentiates the dreams from the reality? Is it simply the fact that we get back to the senses after short time of the dreams? If it is, then i think we need to question whether we are getting back to the senses or to a bigger dream which deceives us to believe that it's the reality? I mean, right now you are reading this post of mine...had u done so in your dream, would it have been different?

So, the question boils down to "What is this 'I' ?" Are we really there, controlling our thoughts and our daily work or are we simply a character of someone else's dream, driven by his thoughts and wishes? Will there be a time when we'll shrug off this so called life of ours and wake up to describe the entire sequence of events we are going thru right now as a part of a dream, having it's plot on a planet called earth? As it's shown in much famous movie, Matrix, before breaking out of the Matrix, Neo's life was not what he thought it was. It was a lie. Can something similar happen to us as well? The difference might be that in the case of Neo, it was controlled by artificially intelligent computers whereas in our case, it might be we, ourselves...who knows?

Hey, just when i am writing this, a thought struck me...forcing me to stop from writing any further..."When i am doubting myself,
who is doubting whom?"
Any comments???

Meanwhile, i am with this...I thought that i thought therefore i was. But, then i thought that had i not thought, would i not be? And hence i thought that i was therefore i thought. But again i thought that had i not thought, would i have thought that i was? Hence i thought that " 'i m' is not there, but 'i think' is..."

Religion : How 'Religious' is it?

2007-02-12T04:24:00.000+05:30

Hi!
For the last few days, i've been thinking about this point...What do we actually mean by religion? Or do we at all mean anything by this sacred word? Is it a complex term derived to drive simple people in illusion or is it a simple name given to the Pandora's box of human psyche? I've never been a "religious" person myself and hence i don't think i've much right to comment about the believers.
But after studying various religions,the circumstances in which they came into the existence and the role they have played in various forms in shaping the history, i think i can add my two cents here...

"Man makes religion, religion does not make man", said Karl Marx. And i can't agree with him any more. If we look at the way the religion has been practiced all these years,this is self-evident. Take example of Hindutva which means revering a cow and killing a non-believer at the same time or for that matter even Islam which gets translated in the submission to the GOD as well as killing so many innocent people in the name of Jihad. i am, by no means, blaming any particualr religion here or casting doubt on it's intentions. i respect all the religions in the world but just as much as i respect all the thoughts in it. i mean, any religion is ultimately nothing greater than a thought and hence deserves respect for being a thought, but nothing more than that.Labelling it to be sacred and hence unchallengeable is like closing one's eyes when something he doesn't like to see is happening. It cannot and does not change the reality and can only serve one purpose- that of keeping oneself in illusion.

After observing the role the religion plays in our daily life, i think this is what religion is meant to do...keeping a man in the illusion...making him feel that there is someone powerful than him..someone omnipotent, omnipresent. And this hits the target bang on...in fact better than we can think, as it serves two quite opposite purposes at the same time..that of giving a hope to the man in distress and a warning to the man in power. And this is the reason why we need a religion at all.

With whatever knowledge i have, i can bet upon the fact that no religion in this world preaches killing of any human being under any circumstances. And i am sure that all the people who have taken the pains of reading the Holy Scriptures will agree with me here. And still, every year thousands of people are killed in the name of religion. Isn't it a paradox? Well, according to me, it's not. Simply because, the religion is defined by Man and the way it's interpreted is more often than not as per his convenience and even sadly, bounded by his limited knowledge and understanding. This is the fact which makes it possible for a man to do two quite opposite things under the name of a single principle. Can we at all consider this kind of principles to be sacred? Can something which has such a weak foundation exist for so long? Thinking rationally, the answer is quite apparent...NO. But,the religions have existed for more than 3500 years now and still going strong...why?

As Freud,the originator of the psychoanalysis puts it,"Religious beliefs are illusionary fulfillments of the oldest, strongest and mist insistent wishes of the mankind." As we can see, the religion is something to which a man turns when faced by some natural calamity which he cannot control or deal with all his power. At this time the religion acts as a mental defense of a man against these bewildering aspects of the nature. The history portrays this phenomenon quite clearly.Earlier the man used to believe that the rain is the GOD's gift to the human kind and the religious practices he follows, have direct relationships with it. But later on, as the science progressed and the artificial rain and various methods to deal with the drought were made possible,the ways in which the religion used to be attached with it has decreased drastically. This applies everywhere. The religion nowadays is becoming more impersonal and abstarct. The directive role which it used to play earlier, is decreasing directly in proportion to the extent to which the science progresses and answers and explains some "mysterious" phenomenons. The root of the religion is in fear and ignorance and the more man moves away from them ,the further away he gets from the religion as well.This is the reason why the religion is now viewed more as a spiritual shelter for the human weaknesses...as an explanation to what we can't achieve.

One of the ways in which Freaud explains the existence of the religion is using his very famous theory of Oedipus Complex, according to which this existence is a direct result of the powerful guilt feeling in the human mind which makes him submit to someone who "knows it all".

If this is all that drives a religion, isn't it the time to get out of it? Isn't it the time to stop these "religions" from befogging our minds and stifling our thoughts? Isn't it high time now to set ourselves free, without any dogmas or doctrines and think without any bounds???

Isn't it the time to be 'human's?

PS: Reposted as the link to the old post is not working...

Losing what i did not have but wanted to...

2006-12-10T01:12:00.000+05:30

There are few lines which touch your soul right when you hear them for the first time... Some songs, some comments or even a line of a song... There was a time when i used to love this particular song... "Rhythm Divine" by Enrique (Not that i dunno like it now, but the appeal it had has somewat diminished as the hope is giving way to the submissiveness...). In this song, there is a line where he in the most appealing way, says...

"No one can stop us from having it all..."

And this was the line i loved... Not for the actual meaning it had in the song, but for the hope it gave me for what i had in my mind... in a way, it made me feel as if i was on the right path... Today i listened to the same song for some 3 hrs ...or even more... And suddenly realised that i was listening it because of it's rhythm and not because of what it meant... And a thought struck me...

"No one can stop us from having it all..." oh yeah, and what all do i want exactly???

Losing track or losing faith?

Can I?

2006-11-23T12:34:00.000+05:30

"What I’ve observed is every person while writing the exams faces a typical set of situations every now and then. His reaction to each and every situation of this set also remains more or less similar. These situations differ from person to person and so does the reactions. So, if we can identify these situations and the way we react to them as well as the reason for the same, we can overcome them." Thus spoke the guy who has been crowned (and very deservingly so) the king of the most competitive exam in the world. “He is genius.” , “He is fundoo…” are the reactions you generally get when you speak to the persons who have just met him. And yes, no doubt he is. There I was, listening to him, in a ‘very next to ideal setup’ of our group meeting (the ideal being one of my friend’s place which we all love. J ) after a good 6 months or longer break. 6 months have been long and many things have changed in this time. After many realizations, newly formed perceptions and restructured mindsets, the group was together again. The very thread which held the group together has probably gone too weak but a new bond which is above it has got developed and probably that is the only reason why even on a festival day when everyone had returned to their homes after months, they were there again, bypassing all routine “Stay Home” instructions.

Yeah, returning to what I have quoted above, as I sat their listening, a very simple thought occurred to me… Isn’t this precisely what happens in the life in general? I mean how many times we find ourselves in the situations which differ with each person but remain nearly same for any person. Looking back, we observe that more often than not, we react to them in more or less similar fashion as if challenging the ‘learning curve.’ But then there comes a hitch… if above is the case and I identify these situations, my reactions to them and the reasons behind them, can I really overcome them?

PS: To be continued…

I knew the moment had arrived, For killing the past and coming back to LIFE…

2006-06-19T16:03:00.000+05:30

Finally, the day has arrived…In fact it had arrived a good month before…but it took me a month to understand and analyze the whole sequence of events which took place in the last year or so. Or was it more than this? Seemed like a life-time…ah…

Well, it all began some 2 years ago…i was (or @ least considered myself to be) a guy who knew what he wanted to do in the life.. who believed in nothing but the reason… who never thought that anything was impossible… who always believed in himself…who believed in the strength of his values… and then came the time which with all its realities hit him in the face… and it hit hard enough to break him down... or probably not… this guy lost what he was very proud of… success the way he used to define it…friends… some very good friends… and much more…Within no time he was reduced from a ‘bright’ student to just another failure… His dreams came tumbling down and crashed into his thoughts challenging everything he ever believed in …

But then, as they say…”You can kill a human…but not the human spirit…” And it was this spirit…or may be the survival instinct which made him play one more game… bid once more... believe in himself once again when there was no reason to do so… Because he owed it to everyone who believed in him when even he did not…he owed it to every sob… every tear that had rolled down during the past one year… he owed it to the chaps who had supported him when he needed it badly…n more than anything, he owed it to himself… for coming thru the tough times… n so he made one final bid…one last attempt to break the jinx he had got so used to by now…But this time it paid off… not in a great style… but good enough to get back to the senses… n now he is on the verge of stepping into a new life…something he had dreamt of…

Yes, here i am now… waiting for the new innings of the life to start…

While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime
I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life …

Rambling Thoughts...

2006-05-31T18:42:00.000+05:30

This question has been nagging me for last few months or say more than a year... So am putting it here now... For all of you to help and sort it out for me...

Are we heading towards 1984(The negative Utopia of George Orwell?) or are we already into it? I mean how many times have we thought to ourselves..."The things have changed...changed for the worse..." or to put it even more bluntly... Where is humanity? You search for it desparately everwhere and suddenly there comes a thud... you suddenly realize that it's not the way you used to define it... it has changed and is more flexible now...you can do whatever you want and then justify it using your brain...who asks for the mind,huh?

i do not know if i am making any sense here... b'se i am just typing whatever is coming to my mind But then hey, isn't this what we are supposed to do? Or do we need to manipulate everything? Do we need to camouflage our actions with some Good words? B'se if we do it, it sounds all nice for some time but then the dichotomy comes into the light sooner or later and then it hits hard...very hard.

So, what do we do when the actions kill and the words try to cure? Or even more importantly, can the words even cure what the actions have allready killed? ...the human spirit?

Free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty, we are free at last…

2006-05-24T16:14:00.000+05:30

When i had heard those words in the speech of Martin Luther King Jr. for the first time, its feel made me think … i always wondered what kind of freedom this guy meant…i mean i could not understand what kind of freedom can arouse those kinds of emotions which can move anyone who listens to the speech even after years… But at last, i think i’ve got a hint now… as J Krishnamurthy puts is…”Freedom is not the opposite of the slavery.” And this is the kind of freedom…which is not just the opposite of slavery can make one ecstatic and make him shout…” Free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty, we are free at last…”

This is what my heart shouted yesterday when the clock struck 6 and i handed over my “smart” card to the admin guy. Yes, yesterday was my last day @ the office.

Oh ok…let me try and take the stock of the things which “happened” in the past 10 months. First came the training program where i learnt to unlearn and learnt many other things…which i never wanted to learn. But then it was this training program which gave me many new buddies and presented me with some great time with them which i’ll always cherish…So, after crediting the “friends” part and debiting the “learning”, i undoubtedly stand in green… n so …no complaints..

Then came the actual “hands-on job” experience… Here i met some nice guys…some not so nice n some “ah…keep away from me” also… But i learnt a lot. First time in my life i felt the joy of finishing the work which was not there to be completed. Doing some work which i knew would be discarded later on was something new to me. It was the first time when i learnt that any amount of “Rework” is not detrimental to the profit of any IT Giant, but it actually is a major chuck of its pie. For the first time, i found that we CAN explain something which we ourselves have not understood clearly. This was the period when i realized that using messenger for talking to the guy sitting in the cubicle next to yours is not that ridiculous after all. It is the safest and hence the most sensible way in fact. But then this was only one part…Here i met some great ppl as well from whom i learnt many things which will be helpful to me in the coming years. Be it purely technical skills or some very basic things like.. ”Never take load” … i owe it to them. In short i learnt many things which i would not have without experience of 2 or more years had they not been there to help. And hence i thank all these stalwarts for showing me the way…

So, after everything said and done(?), it’s over. Now i have got some free time on my hand…just little less than a month in fact…this is the time which i can replace by “Loading…Please wait…” if i view my life as the game in which i am moving to a new sublevel. A new chapter waits to be started after it…

PS: Somehow i feel that what ail our IT Giants is not the people, but the procedures and the way they are implemented. But more on that later…

Am Back Again...huh...

2006-05-13T22:54:00.001+05:30

Once again….Yes…It happened once again…I failed 2 keep my promise of being active on this page of mine…But what d heck? Did i really have anything worth writing? What the hell was i supposed to write when i was slogging at one of the s/w companies… or should i say s/w shops of this great country which feels pride in fetching all the low end work across the globe and promises the “client” an “end to end solution” ? i really wonder what really do they mean by this fancy phrase… “end to end solution” ? How can a point have two ends? All that i can see in the solutions being provided is just one point… “Show us the buck n we’ll do any damn thing for it…N hey, do not worry about our dignity or self-satisfaction … We can always justify that to ourselves as long as the buck’s moving…” Well… whatever it may be…as one of my friend says…”Just Leave that”…
So,this is just to announce that the crazy guy is back... i'll be posting very much regularly from now on... But Ahem... Let me warn all those Quality conscious souls out there... I'll be posting Trash...So if that really turns you off...pls keep some distance...

i am BACK......absolutely "phoenixed"

2005-09-14T23:23:00.000+05:30

Hello All !

It's been a long long time since i posted... and as Mr. Bad-shah shouted in the box, i was kinda in hibernation. Actually i was there @ the south most point of India for my initial lerning program, from where had i posted, it would have been a post with such bad quality that you all would have never forgiven me for it...and so, in the name of humanity i decided to refrain from giving my thoughts the rest-place on the keyboard.... But now, I AM BACK... yes, i am back in my den...all set to roar again...and this time, i am "equipped" with even more confusion for you guys(n gals also, no gender bias!) to sort out for me.

So, hoping for a rocking time ahead...

"All i need is the rhythm divine".................

P1:"I Think...." P2:"Do 'You' Really???"

2005-07-10T15:51:00.000+05:30

Religion...Is it really "Religious"?

2005-07-09T04:01:00.000+05:30

Bonjour everyone...

2005-07-08T18:29:00.000+05:30

Hello Friends....

This is my first post on this newly created blog of mine. It feels as if i am living my first day in a new home...A home which i have created for myself.... Where i would share my thoughts....
My success as well as my failures... Hope to have a nice stay here....

Between, i am a passionate reader and a music freak...so,pls don't get bothered if i post too much related to these two things... But, just can't live without them...C'est la vie !!!

Viva La Musica...

Keep Rocking...